I haven't written because I don't know what is my take on life anymore. At times I do wonder why do I go on? I still question... Yet no answer.

Numb. Hollow. Empty. That's how I am now. I don't feel anymore. Yet I fake a smile, a laugh.. everyday. Just so people around me, who care about me, don't have to worry about me. But that tires me out. I'm tired of being cautious about what I say and/or do just because I don't want them to worry about me. That is probably why I have stopped talking about how I feel inside.

"Only you can find your own happiness..." But how do I find it if I don't even know how it feels like?! I must have felt it before? Maybe but I don't remember. Yes, it's been that long.

I died the day she pulled the plug. My already grey world turned even gloomier. Even a black and white movie breathes more life. I cannot begin to describe the pain I felt then. A stab on the already wounded heart? I gradually bled my emotions away... leaving me lifeless now.