trust...

the willing acceptance of one's power to affect another


coleman's four part definition of trust

placement of trust allows actions that otherwise are not possible

if the person in whom trust is placed (trustee) is trustworthy, then the trustor will be better off than if he or she had not trusted. conversely, if the trustee is not trustworthy, then the trustor will be worse off than if he or she has not trusted

trust is an action that involves voluntary placement of resources (physical, financial, intellectual, or temporal) at the disposal of the trustee with no real commitment from the trustee

a time lag exists between the extension of trust and the result of the trusting behaviour


start off a relationship with the assumption that the other person is trustworthy. be careful to protect yourself but give him or her the benefit of the doubt

Am I insanely in love or is it OCD? Have I lost myself? Why do I feel this way? Is it just me?

From my previous postings, you might conclude that I'm depressed and to a certain extent, suicidal. I won't deny nor approve of that assumption. Because I WAS suicidal a couple of years ago and attempted it once. But I'm still here today. By choice? I don't know. And I have to admit that I do toy with idea of ending it all at times. Do you know it takes a lot of courage to take one's life?

So I am a coward.. can't end it all... but can't continue with life either. What are you doing to change things? A friend asked. At this point of time, I can only garner enough energy (the little that is left) to take one day at a time.

All I know is I love singing and want to pursue a career in it. It's all I have left. So I won't let anyone take that away from me. And don't YOU dare take that away from me! I do thank you for discovering my talent. I do thank you for shaping me in my performance. But I hate the fact that it's you who have been my motivation to continue singing. That it's you who have been my inspiration to take on the stage and sing my heart out. And now that you are not that for me, I'm hollow. All I sing are sad songs because I can only feel unhappiness.

Because of you, I've learnt the art of crying without tears... I can now sob without shedding any tears... And I'll cry and cry till I gasp for air.. but all without tears.

I haven't written because I don't know what is my take on life anymore. At times I do wonder why do I go on? I still question... Yet no answer.

Numb. Hollow. Empty. That's how I am now. I don't feel anymore. Yet I fake a smile, a laugh.. everyday. Just so people around me, who care about me, don't have to worry about me. But that tires me out. I'm tired of being cautious about what I say and/or do just because I don't want them to worry about me. That is probably why I have stopped talking about how I feel inside.

"Only you can find your own happiness..." But how do I find it if I don't even know how it feels like?! I must have felt it before? Maybe but I don't remember. Yes, it's been that long.

I died the day she pulled the plug. My already grey world turned even gloomier. Even a black and white movie breathes more life. I cannot begin to describe the pain I felt then. A stab on the already wounded heart? I gradually bled my emotions away... leaving me lifeless now.

Maybe...giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back.
Don't expect love in return. Just wait for it to grow in their heart.
But, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.

So here we stand
Anchored in hope
Letting the rain wash away every fear
Stars in the sky
Twinkle and shine
I pray they won't disappear

'Cause I don't know
where your journey goes
or how long it will take to unfold
But as long as we keep this moment shining in the dark
I will be watching over every beat of your heart

I wish that time
Could be replayed
I'd keep you here with me everyday
They say that love is letting go
I hope that you find your way

'cause I don't know
where your journey goes
or how long it will take to unfold
But as long as we keep this moment shining in the dark

I know you're watching over every beat of my heart

"Love thyself so that you can give love without the need of being loved"

I'm learning to put myself before her. I'm learning to ask myself what I want and need instead of thinking what she wants... Maybe I can learn to live without her... can I?